I am a 22 years old woman who got married last year into a traditional family. Recently we moved to my husband's village in the country side. My husband's grandmother has elongated earlobes adorned with heavy tondatis and wants me to continue the family tradition. The tondatis are very beautiful and made more than hundred years ago. In fact I am a bit scared about this, but still I have accepted to start the process soon cause I know it means a lot to my family.
Is there any one else with experience in this? How will the stretching be done? Will it be very painful? Do I have to wear the heavy tondatis all time day and nite for ever once my earlobes are stretched?? How will the heavy tondatis affect my daily life? Should I wear ear tops and studs on the small laps of the ears beside like my grandmother also or will this be too much?
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Naila, you have a beautiful name and I think also a sweet disposition, from your willingness to accept this custom! Unfortunately I don't have personal experience with this. However I have heard from several people that the pain is not too bad-- while it's hard to describe pain, it seems closer to the pain of a toothache than that of, say, bad menstrual cramps. So most women don't mind. Furthermore I heard that you should not keep the tondatis on all the time, even when stretching you should allow the earlobes some time to "relax" every day (or at night) as this is healthy for them. Your family will help you with all the details but many have special methods for keeping the area clean and less painful.
Don't be scared. If you're committed to doing it, wear what you think looks beautiful and makes you happy. The only true pain comes from doing something to our bodies against our will, so as long as you are excited about the results and not shy about asking these questions and showing your fear to your family, you will be set.
It is fair that you are giving your family tradition a big accecptance. But for tradition, you might find it diffcult to manage these heavy ear ornaments for a start. You must also remember that once the ear lobes are stretched, there are no other methods to reverse them other than surgical intervention. So think well before going for it.
Look for low weight ear ornaments and reduce the number of ornaments you prefer to wear. Also, you can take them off during the night, so that the damage might take place slowly.
Right from the beginning of humanity, people have decorated themselves - one way or another with clothing, jewellery, tattoos, piercing, scars, permanent changes of the bone structure, plastic surgery - and by painting the body. Such decoration is known as Body Art, simply meaning the art made on the human body. In the past, body adornment was seen as an indication of membership in a unique section of society. Now however,piercing and tattoos are common in all lifestyles and all strata of society. Indians, for centuries, have used the human body as a medium of art and religious expression. Sometimes people decorate themselves to be more beautiful in the eyes of others, sometimes to scare enemies, and sometimes to tell a story. Many of these forms such as the Nama (daily body paintings), Vibhuti (sacred ash) and the Mangalya (the red dot worn by Indian women) have origins in the Hindu rituals. It it is a part of their culture and norm then you also have to go through it. May be you can wear modified/latest fashioned earlobes as you are a new comer in it. Also don't use heavy weighing things on ear becuase it can stretch your year lobes to deep down causing huge hole in the long run.
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This information comes from my own knowledge.
from what I know, yes it dies hurt and causes lots of discomfort, especiqally at the begining. The main point here is that you should only do it if you truly want to, for yourself. Do not do it to please the family. After all, there were times when wives commited suicide to please the family, so it is not neccessarily that very old traditions will suit you. It is a brutal tradition, but if it is your own choice it is fine. It isn your body and only you have to make the decision about hurting and stretching it.
Yes, elongated earlobes and todatis can make a woman beautiful..But you are not going to stop with that..You will have to wear it lifelong..It does not deal with the beauty alone. You will have to adjust to live with it..How about if you become a career woman in a future day? So think twice before you take a good decision.
It would be quite painful in the beginning as well as you would feel uncomfortable with it. But with time, the pain would reduce, you'll get used to it & would feel comfortable in it.
But think again before Elongating ealobes as once if its done, you'll not be able to wear small ear ornaments & you can't reverse it. If you would like to reverse elongated earlobes to normal after elongating ealobes, you'll have to go for surgery. So, think & make yourself ready to have elongated earlobes for whole life before elongating ealobes.
Nowadays there are many asking about this type of tondatis. I think some of them have gone ahead and done so. I hope atleast for your sake, someone who has done it answer your query. Then many can gain from their experience. All the best
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It would be not easy as you think. But once you have learned to adjust, you can continue with it.Think once more before you are going to do it.Try not to make your life like a burden, since this is modern age and accepting such things are difficult.
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